“I don’t see divorce as a failure. I see it as the end to a story. In a story, everything has an end and a beginning.” – Olga Kurylenko
Nearly 50 percent of all marriages in the United States end in a divorce, and if you’ve happened to have found “the one” on your second go-round, there is a 60 percent chance that your second marriage will also end in divorce.
Divorces can be a long, drawn-out experience for all parties involved, often causing undue stress which can turn into health concerns later down the road. Unfortunately, individuals in an unhappy marriage suffer higher rates of depression, decreased immune system function, and even heart disease.
Capitan Rescue — the alter ego of experienced McAllen divorce lawyer Ryan Solis — hears your cries and wants to save you from an unhappy marriage by offering services only available through the best divorce attorney in McAllen. At the Law Office of Ryan C. Solis, we will walk you and your ex-spouse through the process in an effortless, amicable fashion.
Five First Steps for Filing a Divorce
1. Breaking the News
There is no easy way to tell your partner about getting a divorce. It is an action that requires tact, delicacy, and empathy.
Think about it. How would you take the news if your spouse simply served you divorce papers without a single warning or talk? You would be angry. You may even try and complicate the divorce by fighting for unreasonable terms that couldn’t rationally be met. The same results may occur if you try to deliver the news in any other way that is angry, cold, or insensitive.
It is important to consider your partner’s feelings before you go through divorce proceedings. How you deliver the news will affect how well, or poor, your divorce is resolved.
2. Prepare Yourself for an Emotional Roller Coaster
Depending on how a marriage ends, divorces can be an emotionally volatile experience for all parties involved. These emotions can cloud your judgment.
By no means should you check your emotions at the law office door, but you can’t be an emotional wreck and expect to make quality decisions on important issues like child custody, property division, child support, alimony, etc. You may miss important information.
Activities like light exercise and meditation can center your emotions so that you can make these hard decisions.
3. Iron Out Your Living Situation During the Divorce
During a divorce, you’ll likely have a million and one questions about your future, such as:
- Where will I live?
- Where will my children live?
- Will my ex-spouse temporarily live with me during and/or after the divorce?
- Who will end up paying for what?
- How will we divide the bills?
Since these are all valid questions to ask yourself during your divorce, spend some time addressing them. Don’t address them alone either. As the old adage goes, “Two heads are better than one.” Recruit a close friend to help you resolve these questions, or if circumstances between you and your ex-spouse are friendly, talk it out.
4. Get Your Finances in Order
There’s plenty of paperwork that needs to get handled when filing for a divorce.
Keeping track of all of this can be a test any superhero can fail, but not Capitan Rescue.
During a divorce, it is important to keep track of any financial information and expenses you have paid while anticipating future ones. That means tracking records over the past 1 to 3 years, which should include:
- Household Incomes
- Credit Card Statements
- Pay Stubs
- Income Tax Returns
- Checking and Saving Account Statements
- Retirement Account Statements
- Any Investment Account Statements
- Ledgers for Loans (e.g. mortgages, auto loans, or any personal loans)
- Lists of Assets and Debts (i.e. assets and debts that were brought into the marriage and built up ever since)
Food, clothing, entertainment, transportation, home maintenance, and child care expenses should also be considered. Acquiring all of this will make it easier for the judge to determine how debts, split assets, and spousal and/or child support will be handled.
5. Putting Together Your A-Team
Just like the Avengers or Justice League, tackling big events and missions requires a team. This is no different when you are going through a divorce, but with Capitan Rescue teamed up with therapists, divorce coaches, and financial experts, you’ve got a solid divorce A-Team going forward.
But you shouldn’t stop there. While all of us professionals can help you cope and get through a divorce, nothing beats the true love and camaraderie of your family and close friends. Don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones during this emotional time. You don’t have to overcome a divorce alone.